Hello there, TrudyVan here
Yes, I was in need of motivation. Having gone through a tramatic devorce. I was uprooted from my home.
I had to leave my Staffie pup behind. I walked out with the bare essentials, not even by that is how
the court described it and my personal belongings. I had to disappear under the radar until all the legal
paperwork had been sorted and put into place.
It took almost 18 months to do. No income as I could not
chance going on the net to carry on with my business in case I was found. There was a lot happening and
I am not going to specify. Needless to say, I though this was my end. I am in a strange place, with strange
people I do not know. It looked and felt like a concentration camp
.
Yes, I really needed motivation to just carry on.
It started with a bus trip down to the cape. I caught it at night. Every was dark and I was alone. Just so alone. That is what I thought at the time. This was my first long distance bus trip. I packed all wrong and as I could not leave my hand luggage on the bus, I had to carry with me everywhere and it was extremely heavy. The first stop took hours as the bus travels most of the night before stopping. I am a smoker so by the time the bus stopped, I think my hair had even started to curl from the cravings. I was a nervousreck to start off with and now had to wait for a pitstop to have a smoke. There was a toilet on the bus which made life a lot easier.
The bus was clean and the drivers and guides were friendly and kind. They really looked after me very well.
They kept on checking up on me. They brought me coffee when most of the passengars where sleeping.
On hindsite, it was their dedication and care that helped me through that first bus trip. I did not notice all
that at the time. I just wanted to get to my destination and have a bath and go to sleep.
I suffer from DVT, Deep Vein Thromosis and you can imagine what my legs and feet felt like and believe me I was shocked when I saw how swollen my feet were were at the first stop. The guides also noticed and I changed seats to where I can ellivate my feet for the rest of the journey. It is normally 16 hour trip but because of road works, and there were a good couple of them along the route the trip took and extra 4 hours. What a Trip.
What I did not realize is that I had been so trumatize that I could not even if I wanted to act or think rationally. I did things automatically. The will to life felt as if it had left me. I felt as if I was totally drained and had nothing more to give. I know my children and family were serious worried about me.
This Strong woman that was scared of nothing, she let nothing stand in her way. She's an Aries. Head Strong and always made a plan, could now not even look after herself. I thought this nightmare just would never end.
You ask why am I telling you this? I am supposed to be given you the motivation to stand tall again.
I am telling you this because I had to learn to step back and allow people to help me. I had to learn to ask for help.
I had to learn to ask for specific help. Ask from strangers for help. This was my thinking at the time.
I arrived in Cape Town, South Africa at 16:30 in the afternoon, totally exhausted from not sleeping and everything else.
I was met by my eldest sister and her lovely daughter. They took me straight 'home'. I was still to find out where 'home' would be. We sat down and I put my feet up, had a cup of coffee covered myself up with my knee blanket that I had brought with me and neatly fell asleep. She left me until I woke up more than 2 hours later and gave me another cup of coffee. We had a lot to speak about and I started to feel better. I was introduced to the ladies and people in the camp.
I heard stories of horrific of violence, abuse and neglect amoungst other things and these woman are living and smiling. There was a light around them. Survivers have that light. You need to become a survivor and overcome whatever needs to be overcome in your life no matter how small it might seem to you right now. When you start to think clearly, you will realize how big they really are and you have overcome and grown from it.
Through the darkness I saw light. I knew I was going to be ok. One small step at a time. Some days good, some days not.
There was not a day that I did not learn something of myself and about people in general. I met Strong Women, not phsical they are spirtually and emotionally strong by overcoming trauma in their lives.
The fact that I married early in life, had my lovely children early in life, left me with no time to find out who I really was. The months spent is Cape Town gave me the time to do just that. To become a whole person again. To have a Dream again. To life my life and live out my own aspirations.
The Sea, The sand, the long walks of the beautiful beaches, Table Mountain, the people, my family in the Cape as well as my family in Johannesburg, were was just what I needed, I never realized that I had that much support until I reached out. I felt guilty that I was taking up their time, putting them out, asking them to do things for me and I had to learn they helped because the wanted to and they liked having me around.
I always helped people without a second thought. It was natural for me to help. My mother did the same and we just followed in her example. It was never a big deal. I had to learn how to receive and not just give. That is one of the hardest lessons I learnt. There are Checks and balances in everthing in life.
a time to laugh, and a time to cry.
I was learning who I am, What do I want? What are my dreams and aspirations? What am I going to do with my life going forward?
When my late Mom sadly passed away, She left behind a legacy. No one that knew her, had anything bad to say about her. She touched peoples lives even if she only spent a short time in their company. My mom had a grateful book and she would write in it everyday. She listed all the things she was grateful for. That is how she kept her light shining.
That is what I want to do. That is my life. That is Trudy. I started my grateful book down in Cape Town. I bought a couple of hard cover books and gave them to the ladies. We all started our grateful book together. I saw their faces light up as they realized just how much they have to be grateful for. Some ladies were half beaten to death by their ex-husbands and were grateful to be alive. To be able to live a free life again.
I can tell you just sitting and filling out our grateful books and listening what they were grateful for, helped me to work through what I had been through and to be able to write it in my book. To be able to talk about it. To now be able to laugh about it and to even cry about it. This was the healing that myself and a good number of ladies needed.
I now have new lifelong friends and have had a chance to spend time with my family, whom I love very much. I even got chance to spend time with little Andreas, who has a serious heart condition.
It took many months of bus travel to sort out my life. I am now a seasoned bus traveller.
I am were I need to be, right now, right here.
I have started my business again
TrudyVan Marketing and it is going so fast, it's astonishing. I am able to put my skills to use and help people that are unemployed to use their skills and start
small businesses to enable them to support themselves and their families. I help on the marketing side of their small business.
I asked God to give me back my business so I can start again on a clean Slate and He Done Just That. Google gave me back all my email accounts, my blogs and every that I had with them.
The funny side to this story is that all my emails since I last was on the internet was still there. All 59 000 of them and that was only one email account. All my blogs were wiped clean. I got the names of my blogs back only. I got what I asked for and I was not specific. I started again on a Clean Slate. I had to laugh. I was given a challenge and I am taking it and running with it, with all the passion and drive that I have.
I would like to thank each and everyone that prayed for me, supported me even in the smallest of ways, like the big hugs, a shoulder to cry on, That smile, and those that kept on telling me it would get better (at the time I did not believe it), my friend on the internet, My spiritual sister and brother in Canada, Brian and VivBounty, My internet family in America. My loving and supportive children, grandchildren, brothers and sisters, my whole family. Thank YOU.
Your Grateful book does work if you are willing to take that first few steps and if you fall down, crawl your way up if you have to but get up.
My late mom always said to me and I am telling you now: Hit It Until You Hit It.
When you wake up in the mornings remember what you are grateful for. Put up a notice where you can see it.
"I am grateful for...."
You will soon realize how rich you really are. It took me a couple of months to get to this point. I am a better person for it. I know that there are things in your life that you feel you cannot change and your are stuck there. Make one small tiny change everyday. If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, read your grateful list and make an effort to add to it.
Remember to put on your list things that you have not yet received, even little things. I had a toaster on my list as I did not have one. Today I have a nice big one. I love my toast.
Speak again soon and please feel free to comment on condition that if you are commenting on something bad give a positive solution that might help the problem. We can all learn and grow stronger together. I Hope you have gathered some Motivation from my story. I have not added all the details. I did not need to. I can through it with help. Keep on asking. Sometimes strangers are better to ask than those that are close to you. They see more and know more than you think.
Life happens to anyone, from all walks of live, Rich or poor, young and old and even the older Internet Marketers like myself.(smile) Know that you are not alone.
This is one of the longest posts I have every written. LOL.
VivBounty you will be proud.
Kindest
TrudyVan
TrudyVan Marketing in South Africa
